Whoever said “I left my heart in San Francisco” must have been here in New York, met a very promising guy, and after a couple of months, decided to ship her heart to San Francisco and left it there…for good. Whatever the reason may be, I should say, wise move. Because no matter how you wear that I heart NY shirt with the brightest red heart, it won’t make your beating heart more secure in this concrete jungle where people will never think twice in ripping it out and tearing it apart just for survival, or worse, just for the heck of it. If it would, then you won’t see a single person wearing a shirt bought at Macy's, not even Armani. That’s why sending your heart out of state may perhaps be more effective.
It’s not that long since fate brought me here in the City, but I’m here long enough to see and experience how screwed up is the whole dating system here. I am no Carrie Bradshaw, and her stilettos are too high for me to even attempt to put on, but with how things are here, I just need to give a shot on making my standpoint on dating the NYC way tangible. I honestly wonder, if MTA have maps to the rather perplexing underground world of subway, wouldn’t it be nice if we could also have a free map on dating here at the Big Apple to at least give us even the tiniest sense of direction? But I guess there never will be. And in view of the fact that meeting people and getting interested in them is an inevitable certainty as long as I wake up here in the city that never sleeps, I might as well equip myself with this survival guide:
If New York has Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, and Staten Island, dating, too, has five boroughs: Married, Queer, Bi, Badass, and Straight. Be careful where you choose to reside. After all, you can’t change zip codes overnight. Even if you can, you know pretty well the hassle.
Coffee is the metrocard of dating. It always starts with a simple “Let’s have coffee”. If you have no intention of going any further or if you know it’s not worth the trip, save yourself $2.25 and don’t swipe the card. If you decide to have a cup of espresso, watch out or you’ll get yourself burned. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
NYC taxi cabs have a bad, if not worst, reputation ever. Cab drivers drive too fast, too reckless, and too unpredictable. Unfortunately, these yellow cabs got the permit to operate in Dating Street. However, the safest way to go in that street is not by beating the red lights but by recognizing it and heeding it. It’s always better to take it slow, use those muscles, and walk. Forget the cabs in dating, after all, the charge could be more than what you are willing to pay.
When you don’t know where everything is going, you always find yourself too antsy that you are almost comfortable on board in the C train. Confusion is the worst thing in the world. Be kind to yourself and give at most 3 stops to figure out if you are going anywhere. If not, then please get off that damned train on the next stop. You know, you are not living in the city with one train. What’s 10 minutes to lose waiting for the next right train than a lifetime of wandering?
There are three crucial dates: The awkward first; the getting to know second; and, the comfortable third. The big third date could be the turning point of everything. It is when you feel comfortable with each other, even too comfortable that you take each other’s clothes off. Yes, that’s the awful reality here. But if you are up to something real, something that will last, and something that pleases God, wear your running shoes. The moment things get a little steamy, run, don’t walk. By run I mean away, not towards.
What’s on the other side of the bridge? No one could tell. In the event that you decide to finally cross the bridge of dating and finally go beyond, remember that it’s better to stay on the other side for good because the trip back could be more miserable than you think it will be. Crossing it is not a decision you should make on the double. The thing about bridges is, it’s really hard to tell which one to cross and which one to burn. It’s your call.
When you hear this all the time, it might lose it’s significance. But this warning is essential not just on getting off the train, but on getting off something in life that is inevitably closing too. The best thing you can do is stand clear and don’t get yourself caught as the door is closing. It hurts when something ends but it hurts even more when you get squeezed in and you can’t get out. When it’s over, it’s over. Get over it.
When you happen to visit NYC, don’t forget to sneak these into your carry ons. This might come handy.
For the love of NY and survival,